WELCOME TO THE ALL 4 KIDS UK PARENT COACHING RESOURCE PAGE. BELOW YOU'LL FIND HELPFUL TIPS AND ADVICE FOR PARENTS AND CARERS KINDLY SUPPLIED BY JUST 4 PARENTS (www.just4parents.co.uk)
JUST 4 PARENTS – For a balanced and happy family
- Is your family how you’d like it to be?
- Are you finding yourself in the ‘talk, persuade, argue, shout, smack’ cycle?
- Are you happy with how you parent?
- Does your child get the better of you?
- Do your know how to communicate effectively with you children?
CHILDREN DON’T COME with a manual. With today’s huge pressure of time and the mass of conflicting parenting advice available, its no surprise things can get a little challenging.
WORKING WITH YOUR COMPLETE family dynamic, we build on the skills you already have. We realise that you know your children better than anyone. Parent coaching will give you the tools you need to become a more calm, cool and collected parent. Let us guide you towards a more balanced and happy family. We will cover topics such as communicating with your children, defining and holding boundaries and styles of ‘discipline’. With our support you will become the parent you want to be.
BECOME A MORE RELAXED and confident parent and have a closer relationship with your children. Parent coaching provides you with individually tailored support, assisting you in raising emotionally intelligent, respectful and happy children.
Essential parenting tools – an extract:
Be a role model
This is probably the most important and challenging job of the parent. Be the change you want to see in your child. If you want you want your child to listen to you when you talk, take a look at how you listen to them and to others in the family. It doesn’t get more straight forward as that!
Q: How do I listen so my children feel heard?
Q: What if I don’t know how to change my behaviour?
Praise, praise and praise some more
Its’ all too easy to focus on the negative or to tell them off when they’re getting it wrong. It’s amazing how children respond when they are acknowledged and praised for what they have achieved and done well. Every time your child has done something well, let them know how pleased you are. Don’t forget to be specific. E.g. If you have asked your child to make his bed every morning, praise him every time he does it and ignore it when he doesn’t. Say something like ‘I really appreciate you for remembering to make your bed this morning’. Try this out for two weeks and notice the changes. Imagine your child has a internal appreciation or praise bucket, look at ways of filling this up. You’ll be amazed at the effect!
Q: What do I do if they hardly ever do what I asked?
Q: What is my child never pays attention to what I say?
Children need boundaries in order to thrive and feel safe. No child will ever feel confident when they have unlimited freedom, material goods or responsibility. It’s their job to test the boundaries. This is their way of defining themselves. If we can see challenging behaviour in this way, it can make things easier for us as parents to understand. Families need few non-negotiable boundaries. These will be different for every family. Be clear about what yours are. We sometimes react to inappropriate behaviour even though we have never communicated what we want or expect in the first place. The best way to get cooperation from the children is to make sure they have a say when the boundaries are defined and they understand what is expected of them. Remember – children may need frequent reminders!
Q: How do I know what my non negotiable boundaries are?
Q: How do I get my kids to participate in the process of setting boundaries?
When you say ‘no’, make sure you mean it
With the best will in the world, parents can become worn down by endless negotiations, pleading, anger and tears. Before you say ‘no’, be sure that you are not open to negotiation and that ‘no’ is essential. Think about the things that you are absolutely not prepared to move on and stick to these. In the heat of the moment, support yourself by taking a deep breath and pausing for a few seconds; ask yourself if this is a battle really worth fighting?, then, and only then, say ‘no’. More likely than not, your child will have feelings about this. Feelings are fine. Give them the space to express themselves and acknowledge them. You may be surprised by how little we actually need to say no and how powerful it can be when used this way.
Q: What if I have said no and then realise I don’t really mean it?
Q: How do I help my kids express their feeling appropriately?
Q: What if we’re in public!
For the answers to these questions and more, email us for our complete free guide ‘TEN STEPS TO SUCCESSFUL PARENTING' email: [email protected] or call Ben on 07957 254629